well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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