Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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