so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
