I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
