It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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