God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
