I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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