Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have peed in a lot of sinks
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
