You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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