Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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