coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How does one acquire holy water?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
