Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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