you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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