hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
