I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize