I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
