I wish I only lived at night.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
