Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
