Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
