R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
