i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
