I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
