called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
