Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize