as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize