oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I feel great
I just peed on a car
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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