Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
