can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
