Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
