how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
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I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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