trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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