you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
