Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
