I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
