I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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