I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
