so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
