i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize