I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
