I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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