we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
