I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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