I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
