shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
