So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
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you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
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No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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