Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
