How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
