How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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