i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
