i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
