As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
