WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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