it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
