I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
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