I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
