Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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