Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I am naked and annoyed.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
