She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
