i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
