he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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