well he's currently spooning the coffee table
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
