I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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