1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
